do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
