I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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