Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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