He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
