he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
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And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
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I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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