You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
