this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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