Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
