Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
this hospital has no fireball
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
