roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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