my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I touched a dick in church today
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
