let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
