Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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