don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
