so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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