it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
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its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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