Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize