When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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