the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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