What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
