She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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