And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
