So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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