Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
