My Higher Power is John Stamos
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
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I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize