Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
