i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
