oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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