two words...techno handjob
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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