Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
