Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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