I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
