she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
