This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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