Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
