Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
