I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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