she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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