dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
