I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
