Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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