Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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