there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You did what with his pubic hair?
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