Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was like getting head from an anaconda
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
