good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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