no, he came in my armpit
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
