That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
