i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
