And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
