i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...