you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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