we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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