Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
