with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My balls are so social today.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
