the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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