It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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