I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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