I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
