but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize