nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
