So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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