Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
