Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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