all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care