Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  What did we do last night that was yellow?

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  (860): What did we do last night that was yellow? http://tfl.nu/a1qq
  Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (2048)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.

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  (716): i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am. http://tfl.nu/ap7z
  Replies (30) Good night (772) Bad night (4710)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.

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  (304): i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas. http://tfl.nu/zwmj
  Replies (19) Good night (4378) Bad night (1468)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!

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  (915): My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!! http://tfl.nu/a7ta
  Replies (22) Good night (6235) Bad night (744)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Sucks about the cops last night

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..

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  (609): Sucks about the cops last night (848): to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party.. http://tfl.nu/rv14
  Replies (7) Good night (4782) Bad night (1165)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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  (610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq
  Replies (4) Good night (1489) Bad night (660)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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  (402): Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag. http://tfl.nu/nvod
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (787)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store

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  (678): My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store http://tfl.nu/soqr
  Replies (7) Good night (1083) Bad night (530)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in

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  (954): I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in http://tfl.nu/4adg
  Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (524)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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  (318): My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock http://tfl.nu/d5ea
  Replies (10) Good night (1832) Bad night (513)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...

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  (207): I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am... http://tfl.nu/bw14
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (505)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws

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  (519): If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws http://tfl.nu/udrk
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (357)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water

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  (614): You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water http://tfl.nu/21tc
  Replies (1) Good night (1272) Bad night (376)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer

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  (210): I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer http://tfl.nu/7hi6
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (396)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan

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  (254): And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan http://tfl.nu/1xmj
  Replies (7) Good night (1054) Bad night (230)

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