Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today

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  (847): I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today http://tfl.nu/iq2n
  Replies (5) Good night (3132) Bad night (598)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.

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  (270): I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/gibq
  Replies (12) Good night (1234) Bad night (5003)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Decisions, decisions.

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  (319): So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you." (319): Decisions, decisions. http://tfl.nu/1ou5
  Replies (46) Good night (8821) Bad night (1106)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...

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  (219): I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break... http://tfl.nu/y0v7
  Replies (22) Good night (3457) Bad night (1128)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.

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  (317): Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world. http://tfl.nu/k8j3
  Replies (13) Good night (961) Bad night (2928)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Someone in a vagina costume on campus.

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  (541): Someone in a vagina costume on campus. http://tfl.nu/klak
  Replies (7) Good night (2961) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that

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  (920): She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that http://tfl.nu/8ytu
  Replies (13) Good night (1050) Bad night (4730)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Except there is my pee all over the walls now

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  (413): Except there is my pee all over the walls now http://tfl.nu/crd6
  Replies (11) Good night (545) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

  (1+44): View more from

  Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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  (+44): Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over (1+44): Wet with either fear or sexual excitement (+44): I think a mixture of both is appropriate http://tfl.nu/euq8
  Replies (3) Good night (1652) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO

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  (973): DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO http://tfl.nu/pqah
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.

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  (253): For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo. http://tfl.nu/ryca
  Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises

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  (252): I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises http://tfl.nu/kph5
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.

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  (775): Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo. http://tfl.nu/p835
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...

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  (814): My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away... http://tfl.nu/ltxy
  Replies (4) Good night (643) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him

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  (703): He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him http://tfl.nu/a7jc
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (205)

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