What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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