Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...

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(630): View more from Illinois

If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(559): View more from California

And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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(352): View more from Florida

we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.

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(727): View more from Florida

She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.

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