I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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