can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
