If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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