i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
