Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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