Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize