Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
smell my finger.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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