I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
