I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
