We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
