We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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