The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
